What If I’m the Lonely One?  –  See. Perceive. Act.

What if I’m the alone or lonely one, former procrastinators?  Then what?  I’ve shared that I’ve experienced that feeling many times. What am I learning?  Enough to make me look forward to events where I’ll be a stranger.  That’s significant change.

Here are some thoughts and approaches that have bolstered me as someone alone in new situations:

Pray that the Lord will order my visit or evening, that He will connect me with the people He desires and use me to encourage them.  Pray that He will guide us into significant conversation and opportunity to speak of Him.

Expect to have a good time and to meet some interesting folks.  Be focused on others, not myself.

Look up, not down.  Look folks in the eye.  Look friendly. 

If someone greets me, pause so interaction can develop.

Jump in.  Initiate conversation myself.  If I wait on another person, we can both miss out.  The ladies around me might be nervous too.  (Try “Hi!  I’m visiting today/I’m new.  Could you tell me about your women’s Bible study?”)

Everybody counts. Speak to anyone and everyone.  Don’t judge any people-books by their covers.  See everybody as somebody Jesus loves.

Let God pick my friends.  I read this somewhere and it excites me.  Unexpected blessings from unexpected places.

Have a few questions ready to ask.  Look for honest compliments I can give others.

Pay the cost to do something new even if I’m nervous about it or think I have valid reasons not to.  A lady  taught me this after her husband died.  Not wanting to be a fifth wheel, she refused invitations to be with friends.  Finally, someone told her, “Just say ‘yes.’”  That helped her step out of her comfort zone (which wasn’t very comfortable) and step into her new life.  It may be inconvenient to go to a book club or a play date.  Don’t put it off; it may pay off.

Enjoy all I can.  Sometimes we hear we should not put on a happy face at church, that we should share the truth about our lives with no pretending.  I do not endorse pretending, but I’d like to say a happy face during a hard time can be very real.  A friend at church once kindly asked me what was wrong.  It would’ve been inappropriate for me to share at the time. But I deeply appreciated her seeing me, perceiving a problem, and acting by speaking to me.  I recall her expressing concern that I was putting on a happy face.  Though I was struggling, my happy face was genuine.  Church let me worship God with fellow believers.  It gave me the opportunity to relax, soak in the Word, and enjoy friends. Even if things aren’t perfect, be grateful for the good things I get to enjoy.

What helps you interact with others at church when you’re feeling alone?