Put Off Procrastination

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Our Otter Daughter

Playtime & Rest

7 Sep

As a procrastinator, although I put things off, I was bent on getting things done. Because I did not do what needed doing when it needed doing, I constantly had a backlog of work and a great deal of inner pressure. Then add other things in life that create pressure…

That “pressure pile” on top of me squeezed the fun out of life – and out of me.

Enter our otter daughter!

She infant-style bebopped into our lives with laughter and playfulness. As she grew, she became a young lady otter full of humor and fun.

According to Gary Smalley’s personality descriptions, an otter personality loves to play. I’m more a beaver, a worker type. I had become too much that way due to pressure and a misplaced sense of responsibility.

You can see I needed our otter daughter! God lovingly put us together. To be honest, she has a wide streak of beaver in her, too. But it was the beaver in me and the otter in her who frustrated each other.

“Mom, why don’t you want me to sing while I work?” “Because when you sing you slow down so much the work doesn’t get done.” Who tells a child not to sing? We could’ve worked that out. “Mom, may I go to Susie’s? We’re planning a party!” “Pay attention and do your English.”

Yes, work needs to be done. So does play! Sometimes we can even mix them.

Just chatting, my sister-in-law mentioned her mom would put on the Supremes, turn up the music, and they’d all clean house while singing. I almost cried right there. I wish I’d been like that.

We couldn’t do it every time there were chores, but we could’ve done it SOME! Though sometimes play isn’t appropriate, neither is constantly shutting an otter in a box. She’ll be bumping up against the lid because she NEEDS to pop out.

I tried to overly control our daughter’s otter traits. I left our girl feeling constricted, disrespected, sad – maybe unloved at times. It was as if I didn’t recognize and accept who she is because I didn’t give her enough room to let that play out.

We moms can be safe places where our children can be who God made them to be. We can recognize and appreciate the God-given traits in our children, husbands, colleagues. Let’s enjoy the otters in our lives. Their merry hearts are good medicine for them and for us!

What joys have come to you through children or others not like you?

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4 Comments

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Comments

  1. Elena Schuenemeyer says

    September 7, 2015 at 9:57 am

    Very moving! Yes, on this end of life (empty nesting) there will be many regrets, but God will use our mistakes to help others as you do. I fully trust that even your otter daughter will benefit from your beaver personality. God has a way!

    Reply
    • Beth Sterne says

      September 7, 2015 at 12:19 pm

      Thank you for that, Elena! Your words are encouraging and God is merciful. In His wisdom He does not allow “do overs” of childrearing. But we can learn even on this end and move into a new respect and enjoyment. I hope to be more nurturing at this point!

      Reply
  2. Mary Roberts says

    September 9, 2015 at 10:21 am

    The first time I heard of the Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, my now adult children were in the early teen years. It was an eye opening time for me and I determined to learn their love language and show love to them that way. The primary love languages of one daughter are Receiving Gifts and Quality Time. Now as an adult living in another state, I make sure we get some uninterrupted ‚ÄúGirl Time‚Äù when we are together. I realized that giving a small gift showed her that I was thinking of her even though we were apart. She loves Publix and her state does not have that grocery store. I pick up a reusable Publix shopping bag for each holiday or season and drop it in the mail. She loves it!

    Looking back to my childhood, had we understood the differences in our love languages, feelings of hurt and rejection might have been avoided. It was not too late, though, to begin changing the way I showed love to each based on their love language. And to forgive past hurts when my acts of love were rejected. I did not know that one person’s love language was Acts of Service and I was trying to show love in a way they did not receive.

    Thanks, Beth, for sharing your Otter daughter story and for reminding us to honor the God given differences in the lives of our loved ones. I am going to review those traits as well as the Love Languages and ask God to show me where I need to adjust my words and actions.

    Reply
  3. Beth Sterne says

    September 9, 2015 at 11:21 am

    Mary, this is beautiful! You have gotten my attention regarding the 5 love languages. As you said, those also are God-given traits – and differences. How rich our lives are when we view others with that in mind and interact with them accordingly. It requires some adjustment on our part, but the reward of a sweet relationship makes it truly worth the trouble. You also mentioned the need to forgive those who don’t see us through an understanding lens. That’s true too. Maybe sometimes we need to “‘splain our ourselves” – share what motivates us and verify what motivates them. Thank you very much for this insight. I’m going to do some more seeking in our family – and adjusting – thanks to you.

    Reply

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BETH STERNE
Welcome! It's great to have you here. I'm a follower of Christ and a learner of new ways. By His grace, I am gaining victory over procrastination. This is where I share struggles I face and lessons I'm learning. Join me and other sisters as we put off procrastination and put on peace.

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"Beth’s procrastination talk led me to understand procrastination as a heart issue in need of God’s restoration not just a change of my ways. Beth’s personal experiences helped me discover practical ways to attack my own procrastination. As a result I have become a more loving wife, mother and friend who is able to use the gifts God has given me more fully. I highly endorse this talk and would love to hear it again and again."

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Julia F.

"Beth’s procrastination talk led me to understand procrastination as a heart issue in need of God’s restoration not just a change of my ways. Beth’s personal experiences helped me discover practical ways to attack my own procrastination. As a result I have become a more loving wife, mother and friend who is able to use the gifts God has given me more fully. I highly endorse this talk and would love to hear it again and again."
https://putoffprocrastination.com/testimonials/julia-f/
“Beth’s presentation on procrastination was truly eye-opening. I knew I had a problem with procrastination, but never thought twice about how it impacted my relationships and showed God that I wasn’t onboard with His plan. I began to see each instance took away from being fruitful; I was living for myself! After this revelation, I have been working on procrastinating less. I can see places opening up in my life for more peaceful moments, more time with and for friends and family, and more time for God’s plan to unfold. It’s amazing to know there’s more to life for me than a life full of “should haves” as a result of procrastination.”

Carole S.

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2018-08-16T14:42:59-04:00

Carole S.

“Beth’s presentation on procrastination was truly eye-opening. I knew I had a problem with procrastination, but never thought twice about how it impacted my relationships and showed God that I wasn’t onboard with His plan. I began to see each instance took away from being fruitful; I was living for myself! After this revelation, I have been working on procrastinating less. I can see places opening up in my life for more peaceful moments, more time with and for friends and family, and more time for God’s plan to unfold. It’s amazing to know there’s more to life for me than a life full of “should haves” as a result of procrastination.”
https://putoffprocrastination.com/testimonials/carole-s/
“After Beth came and shared about procrastination, many realized that it is possible through the Lord's power to stop putting off what God has called us to do. One mother finally started a blog and another posted a ladies; tea for her church months in advance so that ...she would not put off having it. Although I thought I was not someone who procrastinates, I realized I had some relationships that I needed to work on. Procrastination, I learned, is not just about getting things turned in on time, it's about listening to God and doing what He says to do when He tells you to and obeying God's Word.”

Rebecca F.

Beth Sterne - Put Off Procrastination
2018-08-16T14:43:28-04:00

Rebecca F.

“After Beth came and shared about procrastination, many realized that it is possible through the Lord's power to stop putting off what God has called us to do. One mother finally started a blog and another posted a ladies; tea for her church months in advance so that ...she would not put off having it. Although I thought I was not someone who procrastinates, I realized I had some relationships that I needed to work on. Procrastination, I learned, is not just about getting things turned in on time, it's about listening to God and doing what He says to do when He tells you to and obeying God's Word.”
https://putoffprocrastination.com/testimonials/rebecca-f/
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Beth Sterne - Put Off Procrastination
Go to the ant, you sluggard;
consider its ways and be wise! It has
no commander, no overseer or ruler,
yet it stores its provisions in summer
and gathers its food at harvest.
Proverbs 6:6-8
... you have put off the old man with
his deeds, and have put on the new
man who is renewed in knowledge
according to the image of Him who
created him.
Colossians 3:9-10

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