Being Lonely Hurts – See. Perceive. Act.
Sometime, somewhere, former procrastinators, we have each felt lonely. We’ve deeply sensed being without another person as companion or guide when we needed someone.
In Matthew 9:20-22 Jesus turned and looked at a woman who needed Him. Do we stop and see the lonely person, turning to her with a desire to connect below the surface? Do we discern what God desires, and then act according to His direction?
When we ourselves are lonely, we tend to feel sorry for ourselves and perhaps isolate further. The same thing we want is often what others want as well – a friendly face, the sound of a compassionate voice, and time together with a caring person.
Being alone does not necessarily mean someone feels lonely, but it’s something to be alert to. Loneliness is not limited to people with no one else around or to those who appear lonely. We can be lonely whether single, married, widowed, smiling at a party, at work, at church.
I don’t want others to experience that – time at church for a class or service and back home again without having been spoken to by one single person. This happens in large churches and small, old and new. How does it happen in the body of Christ?
Maybe we need to leave quickly or we need to connect with someone else or we’re so glad to be with friends that we fail to notice the one alone. Or we notice the one alone but don’t go to her because we don’t prioritize her.
This lady could be a visitor or she could be a regular attender with us weekly.
The last church service of my college days, a lady asked me, “Are you from the college? I hope you’ll come back.” “Thank you, but I graduate this week.” I did not add, “I’ve been here every Sunday of the school year for four years.” It’s one of two conversations I recall at that church. (Later, I’ll share lessons learned. At that time, I was young in the faith and depended on older saints to reach out to me.)
When somebody comes to my church, she’s already reached out to me. I’m her host or fellow attender. Let me reach back with genuine interest.
How can you prioritize speaking to “aloners” at church?
Oh Beth-
I so often feel alone! i have mom and Will but still feel alone. It hurts. Everyone says I am so positive and fun to be with but I still feel so alone. We have lived in Bryan for a long time and I love to hear the pastor’s sermon’s but like you said there aren’t any connections. We go in sit down and listen and leave. I have been to other churches but the minister is not right or too liberal for my liking. I am now scared to even go to church because we haven’t gone in so long. I want to go but find it hard to make myself. I so need a group at church to well I don’t even know. I knew the pastor when he first started the church and now it is one of the largest and he has no idea anymore who I am.
I am so glad I found this message tonight when I was going through my emails. I guess God knows when I needed to see it. The pastor has started sending weekly emails and that had poked me to want to attend and he is going to do a series I want to hear.
Thank you for your messages! I helps to know I am not the only one.