Untwisting Overload – Abide in the Vine

As the Lord straightens our thinking, former procrastinators, let’s admit we’re inclined to believe we have to do everything ourselves.  That’s twisted thinking.  It’s a recipe for burnout, resentment, unforgiveness, inappropriate pressure on others.  It even denies others opportunity to grow.

How can we avoid overloading ourselves?

Do what needs doing when it needs doing.  Protects from pile up – mental, emotional, physical.

Drop the idea that things must be done certain ways. That’s your preference.  You can honor your preference if it doesn’t interfere with respect of others. If it does, you might need to defer to them.  Washing dishes is not as critical as leaving with margin.

Other people’s methods can be as lovely or effective as yours.  It’s their work and you honor it.  Beds not made perfectly? Okay.  Decorations not as elaborate as when you were in charge?  Enjoy the party.  Claiming “I’m a perfectionist” doesn’t make anybody look good.

Replace “It’s easier to do it myself” with “I’m growing helpers/adults.” Training kids and husbands takes time AND develops helpers.  Force yourself to show others repeatedly how to do a job.  Benefits will multiply.  Sometimes the benefit is the honor you show the person you allow to participate. (Invest in Training – See. Perceive. Act.)

Let natural consequences take place.  Here’s a better teacher than anything else because it’s real life.  We instruct, demonstrate, and make clear the expectations.  We give opportunity to exercise what’s taught. That’s training.  Training also includes allowing natural consequences and rewards.  If Emma forgets her lunch, she does without or spends her own money; mom doesn’t drive her lunch to the high school.

Take Sunday as a day of rest.  Even a short time with your feet propped up is rejuvenating.

Do you serve a large dress up Sunday dinner?  Are you in the kitchen until  3 o’clock? We moved a big dinner to another day. Sunday is something quick or prepped ahead. An attractive table is  just as good with soup and salad. Stereamline.  You can always “go special” if opportunity and inclination come together.

Expect to help littles for a long time.  Abilities develop slowly. As you help them, train an older child or your husband to help the littles.

Set expectations in reality.  Apply Bill Fawcett’s approach to your life where needed.  Bill would drive home at day’s end looking forward to the newspaper and his easy chair.  As a pastor, he was “peopled out.”  Once home, he was frustrated by four children and a wife wanting his attention.  He’d no sooner raise the paper than another face appeared before him.  He changed his expectations.  Driving home, he’d remind himself, “I have 45 more minutes to give my people.”  He devoted the first 45 minutes after his arrival to his wife and children.  They were satisfied; he was free to sit and read.

Overloading ourselves makes abiding in the Vine hard. If I ask Him to reveal things I can change about myself or situation, I’m abiding in Him.

Where are you overloading yourself?