Making Things Work – Abide in the Vine 

Showing respect to others, former procrastinators, shows the love of Christ.  It often requires us to hold tightly to the Vine because respect might go against our natural bent.  We put off deferring to another.  “Making things work” doesn’t sound like it fits with abiding in the Vine.  But I do think when we look for ways to demonstrate respect in tough spots, we’re doing just that.

It’s easy to have irritating situations that recur over and over.  A little brainstorming and creativity can help us live harmoniously with a respectful win-win.

When my husband is involved in a project that requires focus, it is extremely aggravating to him when I interrupt with “Help!  I have a computer problem!”  I’d feel the same way.  Consequently, I’ve learned to take care of more issues than I thought I could, but I still need his expertise pretty often.

When he was a grad student, the only place in our apartment for his desk and files was across from the front door between living room and dining room. Very open concept.  We had no children then and no TV, but we had me.  If I thought of something to tell him, I spoke.  Not good. 

One day, he came to me holding out a ball cap.  He said, “You see this?  When this cap is on my head,” and he yanked it on, “you may not speak to me. I’m busy. I am not available.”

It worked.  I had a visual reminder to help me respect his study time. One day I answered the phone.  Our pastor’s voice immediately asked, “Does he have his hat on?”  “Yes.”  “Okay.  I’ll call back later.”

I’m asking for a return to the ball cap.  Here, he can close the door but that’s not necessarily sufficient.  I’ve asked if he’ll hang a bandana on the door, high enough to keep the grands from pulling it down.  It will serve as a reminder for them and for me.

Another bandana idea came from a magazine article.   One place we lived was a cul-de-sac that had 40 children of all ages.  For a child, it was like living in a candy shop.  There was always a group playing out front. 

One day I called the kids over and explained something new.  “See this?  When this bandana is tied on our front door handle, our children cannot come out and play.  They’ll be doing school or family stuff and cannot come out. So, please do not come to the door and ask for them.  Do you understand how this works?  Thank you!  This will make it easy for all of us.”

And it did.  It worked great!  Not only were we undisturbed at critical times, but our children were not distracted by thoughts of what they were missing outside.

How do you tone down irritations at your house?