Intentional Dad – Abide in the Vine
It’s a blessing, former procrastinators, to have a father or a husband who parents with intention – who thinks about and deliberately works for the development of his family. I’m grateful my dad was one of those. Jobs can be so demanding that it’s difficult for dads to give the focus they’d like to give to family. Some are not as aware as they might be. Some are natural born connectors and fun-seekers while others have to learn. (Same for us moms)
We can’t control dads’ situations or attitudes, but we can come alongside to pray and support.
It’s important not to deliberately or unintentionally put down Dad’s ideas. His suggestion might need fine-tuning, but it‘s likely doable. I’m learning not to speak right away when my husband suggests something. My mind immediately goes, “How can we do that? What’s required?” I voice my thoughts as they pop up and it sounds like I think he has a bad idea. Yet that’s not what I mean. When I don’t speak, I learn his thoughts and can see the way. He has a chance. If things aren’t clear, everybody can bond and have fun over problem solving.
In order to support dad, mom might enable him to spend time with the kids. She can facilitate things by packing a lunch for a hike or making sure everybody’s schedules mesh for an outing and homework is done before leaving. It’s teamwork. My dad’s ideas made work for my mom, but she’d say they were worth it. We kids say so, too.
Sometimes Dad and kid time takes creativity. My dad went to work at 5 a.m. to do paperwork that was hard to get done during the day with customers. Then he’d come back home and eat breakfast with us before we left for school.
Occasionally, Daddy would take us one at a time with him “to the city” where he’d pick up parts and run errands. The 40 mile drive each way provided good talk time. He’d let us select where to eat lunch. Maybe, there’d be a movie at the end of the day.
He was also good about noticing our interests and budding skills. He asked me to draw and paint a Santa he cut out and mounted on our chimney. His work was far better than mine, but he made no corrections. He participated in scouts with my brothers. When money was due for a school trip, my friend’s parents were out of town and she panicked. My dad to the rescue! So many hugs from her.
Kudos to my husband for biking and scouting with our son and for silencing my objections when our son began internet business as a teen. Kudos, too, for traveling to tournaments with our daughter, judging competitions and transporting us.
What dad, granddad, uncle, or other gentleman has intentionally built good things into your life?
When will you thank him – and your heavenly Father?
